Akamai Diversity

The Akamai Blog

A Tale of Mobile Waiting

A few weeks back at the Velocity Conference, Akamai's own Guy Podjarny released a little book he wrote on the intersection of responsive web design and performance. Many of you have downloaded it, but if not, I urge you to do so here.

But if you weren't at Velocity, and in particular weren't around for Guy's keynote; then you missed a very special "Book Reading" (and a pretty special hat) by (on) the author himself.
GuyPo book reading.png
Luckily the fine folks at O'Reilly were kind enough to record this presentation and make it available on YouTube. You can find the link below. I urge you to check it out, as it puts performance in a slightly different frame of reference: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2ejbfxUg0rw

And for those of you who came to our booth asking for the transcript - and there were many of you - you can find it below. If you are lucky enough to have a hard copy, go right ahead, print this out, and staple it right in. Consider it an updated Preface.

Enjoy!

A Tale of Mobile Waiting

The following is based on a true story, but some of the character names have been changed, to protect their identity.
It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, there was a nice breeze, and we were getting ready to go on an adventure! We've just moved to a new city, and today we were going to an entirely new park. Plus, I'll finally get to use the new backpack my dad bought me at Etsy, because he just likes how fast they are. It's a slightly unusual backpack, with the fire-breathing unicorn and all that, but I've seen weirder things before.
We headed out the door and walked towards the main street. "Do you know where you're going?" my mom asked my dad. "Don't need to, I have Maps!" he said, as he took out and held his phone up.

We walked a little bit more and then stopped at an intersection, for my dad to check where we are. He took out his phone, touched a few keys, and then we waited. I was excited. I really wanted to see this new park. I kept wanting to keep going, but my mom said "Hold on, wait until we know where we're going".

I don't like waiting. I think it's cool my dad has a map in his phone, just like Dora has "The Map" on TV, but Dora's Map just tells you where to go right away, instead of making you wait like this. Dora's Map is also flexible so it can be rolled up, talks, and doesn't run out of battery... When I grow up, I'll have a Map like Dora's.

After what seemed like an eternity, my dad finally said, "Got it! We're going... this way!", looking back and forth between his phone and the streets and eventually pointing in one direction. Hurray - the wait was done! We set out again, proceeding on our adventure!

Still, every little while we had to stop again, and wait while my dad checked his Maps again. In some of these stops my dad would strike funny poses, holding his phone up in the air, or squeezing it between two fingers, trying to get better reception while mumbling something about how those Googlers should have come to Velocity instead of Google I/O. In those times, the wait was worse.
Even though I wanted to get to the park, I was starting to get tired, and hungry. I told my mom, and she had a brilliant idea - we can stop for ice cream! My dad was all for it too, since it meant he can use this new Reviews website he likes. Apparently they're now Responsive and so would work well on his Phablet, even over Cellular. Sometimes I think adults just make up words to confuse me.
My dad was probing through his phone again, on his new mission of finding a nearby Ice Cream place. This was fun - I like parks, but nothing is better than Ice Cream. And so, we waited for my dad to find a place. And waited. And waited. "It's loading!" he said, and then got deflated again and said "no, it's still stuck after the ads".

My dad was getting frustrated, talking to himself about how these guys should have purchased Akamai and actually care about their users. My mom suggested he'd try it on her new Super phone. This is her second super phone. She got it after I confirmed her first super phone - despite being super - couldn't actually fly. I'm not allowed to test that on her new super phone, but I assume they fixed this problem.

Eventually, against all odds, we managed to find an ice cream place nearby. We quickly got there and sat down to have an ice cream. We had to wait in line a bit, but we weren't going anywhere - once you get into an ice cream shop, you are NOT leaving without an ice cream!
When we were done, we all agreed we should take a taxi to the park. Walking was just taking too long. My dad and pulled out his phone to order a cab. And we waited.

Leave a comment